So, I still have four essays left to write before I finish American History. I have left them this long because I really don’t want to write them. Since I have to, in order to get a decent grade, I am going to mock them because, frankly, it keeps me sane.

Unit 6 Paper. Standard Oil Monopoly. Should the government break up Standard Oil’s monopoly?

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There that ought to be enough. No? Bummer.

I don’t like monopolies because I always loose, and it takes too long.Like in that one joke by Dane Cook “This is anybody here two and a half hours in to a game of monopoly. ‘Fuck this game! It’s four in the morning Grandma, you win! …. And I hate it when you are the banker. Where’d you get those pink fifties, you cheating whore? Don’t fucking touch me Grandpa, Nana is a cheating whore!’ “

So the Standard Oil monopoly should be broken up.Or something.I don’t even think it exists anymore. Oh yeah, it doesn’t. What kind of an idiot wouldn’t break it? So this essay is kind of pointless. Seriously, if there is something to be learned from the Mexican economy it is that monopolies are incredibly detrimental. And that Carlos Slim is one of the biggest asshole nabobs in the world.I mean it.Though I bet if I was a Rockefeller I wouldn’t think this way. By some estimates , Rockefeller is the richest man in history. 

Compared to that, Richest Man in the World is not such a hot title.Why is it man anyway? Why not Richest Person in the World?Are they trying to exclude Christy Walton?

Can you tell I don’t want to write this essay?

I wish I could just turn this here in and get good credit.

Though, they’d probably fail me. I’d probably fail me.   

(BTW, I love how Standard Oil got broken up in 35 companies and two of these companies were Jersey Standard and Socony, which are now known as Exxon and Mobil)